| Comments by Eric on Thursday, May 4, 2006 at 00:00 |
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My question pertains to a previous question dated March 21. His question was about Gay men in the Monastery. My question is if a Straight male, for example myself, was in a Monastery, and that Monastery happened to have one, or more Gay males, what are the safeguards that the Straight male will be able to practice his monastic life without unwarranted interferences by the Gay males, and for that matter, vice versa? Thank you.
When St. Benedict wrote his Rule for Monasteries he intended to provide a safe place, a workshop, where all would be able to practice the monastic life and " run in the way of God's commandments with unspeakable sweetness of love." He writes, " Therefore we intend to establish a school for the Lord's service. In drawing up its regulations, we hope to set down nothing harsh or burdensome. The good of all concerned, however, may prompt us to a little strictness in order to amend faults and to safeguard love," (Prologue 45-49).
He knew that some safeguards are necessary. In chapter 22, " How the monks are to sleep," he writes, " Let each one sleep in a separate bed. ... The younger brethren shall not have beds next to one another, but among those of the older ones."
Today each monk has a room, a monastic cell. It is the monk's personal oratory, a solitary meeting place where he can pray in secret to the Father who sees what is done in secret. No one is permitted to enter another's room.
In Perfectae Caritatis, Vatican II's decree on the renewal of religious life, we are taught: " Above all, everyone should remember, superiors especially, that chastity has stronger safeguards in a community when true fraternal love thrives among its members," (# 12). Celibacy is not a rejection of friendship. However, exclusive and co-dependent relationships indicate one is using others in a way that is centered on self. That is not celibate love which by its nature is other-centered. Chaste love depends on the ability to know and avoid whatever is an inappropriate expression of affection.
Modesty is a natural way, a safeguard, to make the practice of chaste celibate love easier. For this reason we take care not to be completely unclothed in the presence of others when we change clothes for work.
Skills which help develop a healthy and revernt celibate love include the ability to manage one's anger, disappointments and resentments. When faced with difficulties or temptations, the ability to choose alternatives that enhance fidelity to one's commitments is the way to perseverance, and shows responsibility for one's choices, and safeguards one's own and other's chastity.
Above all, we are taught to pray for this gift of celibate love. In the Catholic Catechism we read, " Both the sacrament of Matrimony and virginity for the Kingdom of God come from the Lord himself. It is he who gives them meaning and grants the grace which is indispensable for living them out in conformity with his will," (# 1620).
The goal of formation in the Cistercian way of life is to assimilate the convictions and values of the Gospel message. The ability to assimilate these values, not just to conform but to make them one's own, is a sign that a novice is prepared for profession.
St. Benedict teaches that " when a brother does not amend after repeated corrections and even rises up in pride and wants to defend his conduct, and if he is not healed even by the prayers of the brethren then the Abbot is to use the knife of amputation and expel him, lest one diseased sheep contaminate the whole flock," (Ch. 28). |
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